Friday, June 28, 2013

It's Friday, folks!

I, for one, am so happy that it is Friday! 
It's been an off week for this little mama. 
Ready for some QT with my main squeezes. 

Enjoy the sunshine! 

Found these gems this week: 

Thursday, June 27, 2013

Stress just got served.

We can.

As I was reading this article, I realized something.
I am not a yeller but I do not always have a kind tone when speaking to my little one.

Why do we let the "little things" turn us in to monsters?
(the spilled milk, the 5,000 cheerios in your backseat, the fight at bedtime, the constant "NO's!", 
the battle of changing a diaper)

I know why, it's the pressure. Good golly Miss Molly. Some days I just can't handle the pressure. 

So, then I started wondering where this devil like pressure came from. 

Then it hit me, it came from ME. Little ol' me? Yep.

No one else made me feel pressured. No one has ever said to me, 

Case in point,

We need to leave for church in 30 minutes, I need to finish my makeup, my hair and pick out clothes. Landon walks in crying because he can't find his "piderman" so then I have to stop mid-eyeliner and spend 5 minutes looking for Piderman. Great, now I have 25 minutes to get ready for church. Finished my makeup. Now, let me start my hair....half of it's curled and Landon comes in saying "Sagey took piderman!!!!" Great. The dog is hiding under the bed with piderman clenched between her small but vicious teeth. Now I am laying down on the floor bribbing the dog with goldfish or cheerios so she will come out and I can get piderman back to it's rightful owner. Sucesss. But now I have 10 minutes to finish my hair, and get dressed. I decide to forget my hair and put in in a bun and go straight to my closet. I'm dressed. We're headed out the door when I realize that landon's bag hasn't been packed so I rush around throwing diapers in snacks in a bag all while Landon is asking me to hold him and the dog is whining because she wants more goldfish. My husband is waiting in the car. I run to the car with a baby on my hip, his bag, my bag, my drink and my snack. We made it to the car ON TIME! But I don't dare look in the mirror of the fear of what my hair may look like. I'm going to church, they don't judge there, right?! 

This nonsense gets me frazzled. So when my son asks me something during those times, I snip at him. 
Then I close my eyes, take a deep breathe, say to myself "Lord, help this not matter...", then apologize to my son and vow to not let it happen again. At least for the remainder of the day. 
small goals, big change.

That crazy 30 minutes was just that... crazy, but not bad. Nothing bad happened
Nothing. Bad. Happened. Let's repeat that a few times.

I remember that the dog stealing "piderman" is a BIG deal to a two year old and he is coming to me for help. And while I did help him, I should be thankful for this opportunity to save "pidey" and make his a day a little better, even if that means that my day may be a little worse off.

We can be a few minutes late, we can show up with wet hair and no makeup, we can let the dishes sit in the sink for a little longer. We can. We can do hard things. 

Tuesday, June 25, 2013

Good vs Bad

Landon's babysitter is Spanish. She is sweet and caring and has two sweet boys of her own. Landon has been with her for 2 years and loves her. I feel completely comfortable with her and trust her so much....BUT, this week all of that was questioned. She decided to volunteer at her church during their VBS and bring the boys. She asked if it was ok to take Landon and I agreed that it was fine. Then Monday morning came and I met her at the church.The church is on a street in Tampa that doesn't have the best rep. The church is next to a labor ready place with random men sitting outside. I parked the car and just sat there scoping out the scenery.  I felt uneasy. I decided to proceed inside and see how this church really was. You know, to make sure there weren't any snake charmers or people flopping around on the floor like fish out of water. Then Landon said "hold you" which means that he wanted me to hold him because he felt just like I did, uneasy. We walked in the glass front door and were greeted by five smiling young adults. They checked us in and told us to head into the auditorium. There was a young lady dressed as a princess on stage talking about "standing strong" for God. We sat down and listened. Landon wouldn't let go of me. I embrace this and help him feel as comfortable as possible in a new setting. You see, I was the same way as a child. Sensitive and cautious. Shy and quiet. I remember my family often saying "She is shy." and for my whole life I thought I was shy. I'm really not shy at all, I just like to scope out the pool before jumping in. I like to access the situation. I like to make sure it's safe. So, I know why Landon is this way and I try not to label him with "shy". We both sat there and watched how everyone interacted, we listened to the music, we watched the children dance to the music, we watched the leaders and volunteers do the same. They eased our uneasy. For the next four hours, we sat in a dark room with fake candles lit with a leader proclaiming that our children are the light of the world and that God will be with us during all of our dark times, we ate strawberry ice cream with chocolate sprinkles, we held hands, we met a Knight in Shiny Armor, we danced on stage and we smiled through it all. When I left yesterday God made me realize that even though the church wasn't in a safe place, I could find peace and happiness because he was. I put all my worries aside and trusted him and his people to keep my son safe. After all, isn't that what he does with us every day? I took Landon in this morning and everyone remembered me and greeted me with a friendly hello or good morning. They knew Landon was mine. I think they knew that I need some comfort and they gave me that. I cannot protect my child against the difficulties of this world and to me that is a battlefield every day. My love for him will not always save him. Sometimes we just have to let them go and trust that they will be okay. It's so hard to have trust in our world today, but sometimes our world isn't the one they show on the ten o'clock news. I believe our world is 80% good and 20% bad, and unfortunately we only see the 20% at times. I ask that you all look for the goodness today. 

So thankful for my sweet babysitter who sends me 387 pictures in 3 hours to reassure me than he is happy and safe! 

Friday, June 21, 2013

Cry Baby!

I cry. 
I cry everyday. 
Ugly tears. 
Happy tears. 

It's just what I do. 
Some people smoke cigarettes, or drink a glass of wine, or hit the punching bag to release stress, I cry. 

For the longest time, mostly because my mother-in-law said so, I thought I had issues. 
Then I realized that I was normal. 
A normal, warm blooded, heart on my sleeve, soulful girl. 
Everything goes straight to my heart. 
The good, the bad, the ugly. 
It is a blessing and a curse. 
I feel so much and because of this and the need to express it on a regular basis, I cry. 
I feel the pain of an abandoned child. 
I feel the pain of a homeless man.
I feel the pain of someone running out of gas.
I feel the pain of death and heartbreak.
I feel the pain of it all.

God gave me this heart and I'm not afraid to use it. Maybe I am dramatic and emotional and need extra care at times, but isn't that what humans are supposed to be? My mother pretty much raised my 3 sisters and I and because of the fact that there were five girls in our house....emotions were always flying around like mosquitoes on a hot summer night. We cried too much, laughed to much and yelled too much, but we loved too much. Once becoming an adult, I thought the whole world was like us. We had hardcore, WWE fights, but then ten minutes later we would be making pancakes together and laughing at the mess we made. Life is not like that. Friendships and relationships are not like that. Other people are not my family. I've always been honest with myself and other people and it took me so long to learn that I can't tell someone off because they made me mad and then expect them to be my friend in ten minutes.....not everyone grew up with sisters. I've lost a lot of friends by acting this way and in my own defense, I had no idea that the real world didn't work that way. I question it often. I married into a family that does not show emotion. It has been one of the hardest changes in my whole life. I've had to learn how to leave my heart at home when visiting them. Does anyone know how hard that is? Especially when I've worn my heart on sleeve for 30 years. There is always a battle within me when around them. Do I act like myself or just sit there and look pretty and speak when spoken to? Do I hug them? Do I say "I love you"? Why do I even have to question those things?

A little quote I ran across this week that made me smile about this situation that I often find myself in...

(image found here.)
Wear your heart on your sleeve this weekend.

Wednesday, June 19, 2013

Baby #2

Baby #2 is on it's way! I am 18 weeks along and currently sitting with my pants unbuttoned. I am at the "fat" stage. While I hate saying that word, there is no way to put it kindly. Maternity pants are in my near future. I already feel like Baby #2 is so different than baby #1. With baby #1 you get the week by week emails and get excited when your baby goes from an orange to cantaloupe. You buy ever damn thing that was ever made; every bottle, every diaper brand, every pacifier. You sanitize everything, wash all the clothes before they wear them, you don't come within miles of anything with germs.......then that all goes out the window when that baby turns into a toddler and you realize that your kid is some sort of superhero who can eat candy off the floor and survive. Shoot, I started eating stuff off the floor. Whatever, as long as we eat we're doing just fine. At 18 weeks with this baby, I can't even tell you what's going on in there. I feel some kicks and my bladder feels like Humpty Dumpty himself is sitting on it, but besides that and the monthly checkups, I haven't payed attention to this kid. I honestly forget that I am pregnant sometimes....that is until I put my pants on. My baby #2 wishlist is constructed of eight things. Eight, and three of them are "wants" not "needs". You realize that babies don't need much after your first one. You can literally get through the first three months with four things besides the essentials (diapers & milk) and those are coffee, onesies, a swing or some other baby holding contraption, and a carrier. In my opinion and with that being said here are my Baby #2 Essentials and my Top 4 are below! Nothing fancy over here, folks. We do it Amazon style. 

 Aden & Anais Swaddle Blankets are where it's at. They are soft, cute and get the job done!
I found Guava Mitts on the Nordstrom website a while back and thought they were perfect for newborns. They now carry Guava Boots that are adorable! May get a pair of those too! 
The Tiny Love 3 in 1 Rocker/Napper looks awesome and it only $99.
And last but not least, the Baby Bjorn Original Carrier. It's kind of pricey but it has great reviews and looks comfy!

I have never used any of these products but have did my due diligence since Baby #1 and these are the products that I am eager to have for Baby #2. Once that little booger gets here and we put these babies to use, I will do a follow up post and let y'all know my opinions! 

Bookmark it!

Every morning when I get to work, I log into my computer, grab myself a cup of tea, then go straight to my bookmarks and read blog posts for about 30 minutes. It's how I start my mornings. I love reading how someone spends their day or check out someones updated kitchen or the latest fashion around the bloggity blog world. Below are a few of my favorites, I hope you enjoy them as much as I do!

Glennon is hilarious and heart wrenching! She will not disappoint.

Under the Sycamore
Ashley is a mother of 5 who can do it all! Her stories are warm, tender, and awesome!

The Daybook
Sydney's blog is a fashion blog, but she has thee most adorable little boy who she incorporates into the blog and her crazy stories and pictures are killer.

A Canadian mother blogging about life and everything that goes with it.

Lay Baby Lay
She whips up inspiration boards for children like no other. Love to visit her blog for ideas!

Bower Power
You guys, Katie is hilarious! She lives in Georgia and blogs about home renovations with three handsome boys running around, including her husband. ;)

Those are my favorite blogs. I have like a million that I randomly go to but these are my cup of joe!

In related news, well kind of...

Have you guys ever been to the The Animal Print Shop?
Adorbs. Can't wait to get the cow cow for my little. He is obsessed with COWS!

Tuesday, June 18, 2013

A day in the life of.

When we found out we were pregnant with our son, Landon, I knew I wanted to go back to work. Could I of stayed home? Yes. But I knew that me going back to work would help out tremendously and at 28 I couldn't put that burden on my husband. I wanted to help our family. Help our family be comfortable and not worry about money. Money issues cause huge problems in marriages and in families and I didn't want to go through that so I chose to go back to work and decided that we would rock it for the next few years and reevaluate the situation. Now, I know this is a big controversy in the motherhood department but to each his own. This is what worked for us. A choice we made for us.  Do I cry every day I drop my son off at the babysitters? I sure did. Do I text her multiple times a day to check on him? I sure do. Do I request pictures to assure me he his happy? You betcha. He IS the most important. With that being said, going back to work rocked my world. I had no clue how hard it would be to get myself ready with a baby around. It took me about 3 months to get adjusted and for my husband and I to get into a routine. My advice to any new working Mom (or any new Mom in general) would be to make a routine and stick to it. It is the key to happiness and great hair days. I thought I would share my current daily routine with you guys to give you an idea how we make it work.

6:00AM - Alarm goes off
6:10 - I get up 
I always shower the night before and dry my hair or let it air dry. It will save you a good 30-45 minutes in the morning. 
6:10 to 6:45 - I do my hair, makeup, and get dressed
6:45 to 7:00 - Pack Landon's bag and get his stuff ready for the day
7:00 - I wake up Landon or he wakes himself up (I prefer the latter.)
7:15 - We hit the road! 
(We drive 30 minutes to his babysitters house, on a good day!)
7:45 - Arrive at the babysitters house
8:10 - I leave the babysitters house
(After making Landon breakfast, allowing him to show me a few toys and sitting with him for a few minutes. I enjoy this and give myself time to do this every morning.)
8:50 - I arrive at work. 
9:00 to 4:30 - Workin' it! 
4:30 - Leave work
5:00 - Arrive at the babysitters house
5:15 - Leave baby sitters house
6:00 - We make it back home!!!!!!!!!!

12 hour day. Just. Like. That. 

There are days when we don't get home until 7PM due to me working late and traffic. It is what it is.

6:00 to 6:30 - Play time
6:30 - Dinner 
(My husband works from home and makes dinner for us every night.)
7:00 - Bath/Brush Teeth
7:20 - Read a book or eight/Prayers
7:45 - Kiss Landon goodnight 
8:00 - Landon is out, on most nights!

Once Landon goes to bed, I do some house work, laundry, walk the dog, shower, read and relax with the hubs. 


You guys, that's my day. A few things, I enjoy my quite time in the car so the driving doesn't bother me. Some days are chaotic and Landon doesn't get to bed until 8:30 and I don't make it to bed until 11, but I don't stress out about it. Had to learn to go with the flow with a child. We have figured out a way to make our busy days work for us. My husband cooks dinner and cleans the kitchen while I do bath time and all of that. Once he is done doing his stuff he sits and reads with us or spends a few minutes cuddling with Landon before he goes to sleep. I am so thankful for a good man who isn't afraid to help! Hats off to any single working Mama's out there, hats freakin' off.

PS - Our house is usually dirty. Dirty floors, dishes in the sink, toys everywhere. Ask my friends, they will tell you. But I don't care. I want my son to know he is the most important. So during the week when I don't see him much, I spend all his time with him. I do what I can when I can and that's all we can do. So, put the broom down and play catch with your child. It will make you both smile and while you're at it kiss all that Mommy guilt goodbye. We can't do it all and we don't have to.

Love y'all.

Monday, June 17, 2013

Small Town Saturday

My husband had some studying to do on Saturday so I decided to pack up the little rascal and I and head North 36.2 miles to the small town I grew up in to see my parents and my younger, prettier sister. Their house is set back off the road in the middle of five acres, you can't see the house from the road unless it's fall and the leaves are gone. It looks even more beautiful now that I don't live there, because when I did live there I found it peacefully scary at times. I even saw a ghost once, no joke. It was a lady ghost. A younger lady wearing all white, carrying a white cat. I'll swear to it until the day I die. We live in the city now but I love the fact that I can bring my son to the place I grew up and let him experience the simple joys in life. Where everyone is family, you know people by their first names, the only time anyone wears a suit is when there is a funeral, there are more trucks than cars, and everyone says y'all. It's home. It's warm and lively. It's quiet and boring. It has definitely become one of my favorite places since growing older. On Saturday we went to our favorite hot dog joint, Coney Island, we rode the four wheeler, we walked out back and admired Pop Pop's motorcycle and big fan, and we rode in the back of Pop Pop's pick-up truck. 

 ...and we enjoyed every second of it. 
This is your reminder to go home.

Friday, June 14, 2013

Describe yourself.

You know that moment when someone asks you to describe yourself and you just sit there stumped. Like, who am I? Should I shout out all my good qualities? Should I be vague? Should I go into detail? Describe yourself? Why do we have to do this? I go 'round and 'round and finally blurt these gems out...

  • I have a twin sister. 
  • I am married to a man named Ryan and have a son named Landon.
  • I like pizza. 
When I really want to say this...

  • I have a twin sister who's name is Kandi (don't ask!) who is my rock. I spent 29 years seeing her practically everyday, then she moved to Baltimore and it made me so very sad. 
  • I am married to a man named Ryan who is hardworking, dedicated, loving, always forgiven Christian who spent 786 days in jail because he got into a fight during college and I have a son named Landon who has blond hair and blue eyes and is the love of my life. He dances all the time, spits out food way too often and wakes me up to play cars in the wee hours of the morning. 
  • I like pizza. I like pizza from anywhere with anything on it. Okay, except for anchovies. But to be completely honest I have never even had anchovies. I am from the South. We don't eat anchovies. 
 I want to tell people all about me and I want to know all about them. I ask way to many questions about people and when I am sure it comes off as being "nosy", I am just curious. I am curious as to what people like, who they love and why, what they do. It's intriguing to me. My ideal job would be to just talk to people and listen to them and converse with me about nothing and everything all at one. Like sit on the front porch with sweet tea and nutter butters kind of talk. Friendly talk, not therapy....but in a way it ends up being therapy. I could talk and listen for days. A part of me contributes that to growing up with 5 women in our house. We could talk the ears off a corn and we still can! 

So this is your warning, I talk a lot. I talk about mostly everything. I ain't skeered. I ain't skeered of judgement or harsh comments or dislike. I once this on Pinterest and it has become my life's motto: 

Be peachy! 
♥ B